DARPA Balloon Identification Guide

soldier balloonThere have been a quite few rumors that our competition will be launching decoy balloons designed to thwart your identification efforts and deny me us our $40,000 award. With only 28 hours to go before our Department of Defense launches their balloons, I am providing this CONFIDENTIAL “DoD Red-Balloon Finder’s Identification Guide.” also referred to as an R-FIG.

kid balloon 2Note the child holding string. This is almost certainly NOT a DoD balloon.

soldier balloonNote weapon held at ready. This is most likely, a DoD balloon. Place hands over your head on approach.

clown balloon

Although this balloon is red and despite evidence to the contrary, the clown face is a sure sign that it is not DoD.


This balloon looks very DoD, but it is actually a UFO hoax balloon with a boy named Falcon not inside. It is also not red.

jet fighter balloon

The jet fighter trailing this balloon is definitely DoD but because the balloon is being dragged at Mach 2 and its location cannot be fixed, it is not a DARPA DoD balloon.

party balloon

This balloon may or may not be DoD. You will need to investigate to make a determination.

balloon tank

This tank is covered with DoD balloons of many colors, but some are definitely red. Record the location of the biggest red balloon.

camaflage balloon

The camouflage on this red balloon should not deceive you. This is definitely a DoD balloon.

pentagon balloon

With the Pentagon below, you should have no doubt of the DoD provenience of this red balloon. Report to me immediately.

Osama Balloon

This balloon has Osama bin Laden inside it. We wish it was DoD but it is not. DoD can’t find Osama.

nuclear balloon

This red balloon is clearly DoD but it is probably not a DARPA balloon. When confirming this, approach with caution or you will be DOA.

About marc

Instructional Design Consultant
This entry was posted in Current Events, History, Motivation. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to DARPA Balloon Identification Guide

  1. Larry McElhiney says:

    Hey Marc,

    With your help at ID of the ballons, our DeciNena team expects to have come in second. We had 9 of the 10 correct!

    Take care,


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