To whom it may concern:
I just want to take this opportunity to assure all you folks out there–especially John, Greg, Amanda, the NSA, CIA, FBI, Verizon and all the folks at PRISM–that I really, really love America, apple pie and my mother, and that anything I might have said on this blog or on my VOIP and cell phones, or in my emails, or posted on the social media, indicating otherwise, was just my all too often inept attempt at humor.
So please disregard anything that seems to call into question my absolute and undying loyalty to God and Country. Honestly, I was just kidding. I apologize profusely for any misunderstanding this may have caused.
Most sincerely and truthfully yours,