Socialist Football
What really bugs me is how how the supposedly “macho” game of football promotes Socialism. Football players are nothing but a bunch of sissy red-sheep dressed up in wolf’s clothing.
In the game of football, everyone agrees to a set of rules and plays by the rules. If an individual or a team as a whole, breaks the rules, big government refs slap them down with penalties that redistribute the wealth in the form of yardage. Leveling the playing field through government intervention is just plain un-American.
In our competitive free-market society, we understand the evils of big government. In the land of the free, government is a necessary evil at best. To be real competition, the game of football should be played using the same model that we value so much in our economic system. Down with big government and to Hell with the rules. Let nature take its course and may the best team win!
If we played football the way we run our economy the game would become a pure and simple competitive test of wills.
As coach, the first thing I would do is explain to my players that since the game is unregulated, they should expect the other team to do anything and everything to win. Then I would assure them that, since the other team can be expected to do anything it takes to win, we will do the same.
Finally, I would explain to them that will we use a “shotgun” game strategy. Just before game time, I would issue each of them a fully loaded, pump-action, shotgun with instructions to shoot first and ask questions latter. Lock ‘n load!
That’s the American way!
