Warning: The following allegorical play contains language, imagery, and ideas that may be offensive to some readers. Proceed at your own risk.
The Dawn of Corporate Capitalism
A play in one act, by Marc Hersch
Scene:
Village with decrepit buildings that appear to have been wrecked by demolition teams. Two villagers sit around a campfire in BarcaLoungers. A large, flat screen TV flickers next to them. They are eating an unappealing gruel from soup bowls. In the background, several enormous creatures are grazing in and around the wrecked village and a decimated forest landscape, seemingly indifferent to the conversation between the two villagers.
Villager 1: (motioning over his shoulder) I think it’s going pretty well. Look at the size of those guys!
Villager 2: I don’t know about that. I thought the idea was to breed them big for their meat. Now even our strongest hunters wouldn’t dare raise a spear to those beasts!
Villager 1: Yeah, well I suppose those dumb creatures did grow bigger than we expected, but you gotta look at the bright side.
Villager 2: How so?
Villager 1: It’s true we can’t slaughter them for their meat, but their shit doesn’t taste half bad.
Villager 2: I suppose so. Could you pass the ketchup?
Villager 1 passes ketchup to Villager 2, who continues talking.
Yeah, there’s certainly plenty of shit to go around, but it’s all carbs and sugar. Three quarters of the village has gone diabetic from eating their crap.
Villager 1: (Lifting a spoon to his face) Smells good and tastes good though.
Villager 2: They’re just so big and so dumb. All they do is eat and eat. I am starting to think things are getting out of hand. At first they just grazed in the forest, but as they got bigger, they just got hungrier. Now the forests are gone and they’ve started grazing in the village. Eat, eat, eat!
Villager 1: Did you read yesterdays paper? A bunch of crank scientists say their farts are causing the glaciers to melt! Some people will believe anything. The way I see it, the more they eat, the more shit we get! You just need to be alert when dealing with big, dumb, voracious creatures. Make sure they don’t start grazing in your neighborhood.
Villager 2: Yesterday they devoured the village treasury — again — and when that was gone, they mowed down Bob and Judy’s place. Ate the house and half the family.
Villager 1: More shit for you and me.
Villager 2: I’m starting to think that we need to figure out a way to get these beasts under control. They’re too damn big! Maybe we could cut a deal with them. You know, a few ground rules — some regulation.
Villager 1: A deal! You’re dreaming. They’re too dumb to deal with. All they know is how to eat, eat, eat.
Villager 2: Then we need to stop them before they destroy the whole village.
Villager 1 (In startled disbelief) : Do you realize what you’re saying! We stopped farming and making stuff when they started shitting piles as big as houses. Hell, 70% of our economy is based on consuming their shit. If you mess with them, the piles of shit will get smaller and smaller, and soon we’ll be starving to death. We’d no longer be in deep shit.
Villager 2: Are you saying, they’re too big to fail?
Villager 1: You got it. We’d be screwed without them.
Villager 2: Couldn’t we just harvest their meat, like we planned to do in the beginning?
Villager 1: No can do! They’ll eat you before you can get close enough to prick them.
Villager 2: So what you’re saying is that even though we created them, they’ve got us by the balls?
Villager 1: (Grinning widely) I like to think of it as them sort of gently cupping my balls, if you get my meaning.
Villager 2: Maybe we need to figure something out. You know, get together and gang up to take them out.
The huge creatures in background stop eating and turn their gaze toward the villagers.
Villager 1 (Winks and motions over his shoulder toward the beasts) Careful what you say.
Villager 2: (Whispering) Seems to me we’re in deep shit.
Villager 1: Right on! Pass the ketchup.
Begin slow dim of stage lighting
Cue music: “Also sprach Zarathustra”
(Curtain)
“What is defined as real, is real in its consequences.” -
Dr. Nick Massaro
This profound one act play sums up man’s servile relationship to his imaginary beings, in the profound manner of such literary greats as Sartre and Camus. The subtle dialog and imagery bring to mind the immortal one-act plays of Samuel Becket. The play’s nuanced meanings shine brightly in reading, but a full stage production would be so much better.
Please let me know when and where I can get tickets to the premier performance.
Thank you kind sir. Too often, great art goes unnoticed. You have touched my soul.
This unusual allegory of today’s gargantuan and uncontrollable GREED that governs this United States, not only in corporate philosophy, but obviously reflected with the general populace, is reflected in Mr. Hersche’s Post apocalyptic vision of the future, a vision that portends the way things will be very shortly. VERY scary. Very Kafkaesqe (….is that a word?)
The future is now!
What a sick, foul mouthed post! Our corporations aren’t evil, people are evil!
But I agree! They’re not evil, they just think and behave with a single minded purpose — eat, eat, eat (profit, profit, profit). People think about lots of things. They think about pride, honor, responsibility, love, hate, and so on. Our imaginary beings are a convenient work-around when it comes to matters of conscience.
Might want to do a second Act on the military-industrial-congressional-complex creature… a little scarier, bloodier monster… more voracious too (just maybe not this year).